NOLA- A More Modern* Third World…

on August 10, 2017

*as in we have running water, indoor plumbing, and electricity on most days.

Don’t get me wrong. I love New Orleans. I never thought I could actually love a city this much when I moved here 11 years ago. But fuck, this city is lightyears behind so many others. It’s not only the little things (having to pay extra for recycling?!?) but the bigger issues such as crime. I’m not here though to focus on the big picture. I have no solutions for those sorts of things. This rant is about the little things that makes New Orleans super annoying.

Makin’ Groceries

For example, today I thought: “I usually don’t go to Walmart but see they now have a grocery service. Let me see if it’s in New Orleans.” The closest dang pick up place is a half hour away even though Walmart claims it’s in New Orleans. It’s not in New Orleans. The airport is close to New Orleans but last I checked, New Orleans ain’t Kenna-brah. And I’m not driving over a half hour to get groceries from Walmart.

While I am on groceries, why the heck are there no grocery delivery options here? We used to have Good Eggs but like all good things, it closed. Rouses basically would have my business for life if they just delivered. I don’t mind going there but shopping with 3 kids is not pleasant, especially when this happens. Some days, I can make it to the store alone but it’s never a guarantee. Since I’m being 100 right now, if AmazonFresh opened up here, I’d probably never leave my house. That thought makes me so happy. Mainly, because this gif is me.

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Mail

Ya know how mail is supposed to be on time, reliable, etc? The whole, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”? Yeah I don’t. We can go days at a time with no mail even though I see the mail person walking around the neighborhood. Then after say 5 days, I’ll sudden get a backlog of mail delivered. My theory is that the postal worker doesn’t feel the 1 piece of mail they have is worth the trip up my steps to deliver. So they hold onto it for me until they have enough to give me all at once. Beyond annoying. Not that there is anything super important coming in the mail most days; I just like to know it’s working! UPS and FedEx are no issue at all. It’s strictly USPS.

Schools

Private school is the hidden tax in New Orleans. There are pretty much no traditional type daycares in New Orleans that aren’t either in awful neighborhoods or super sketchy. Tulane and Loyola offer daycare for ages 1 and older but they mainly pull from staff. There used to be a place in town that was affordable and offered infant and baby care but it closed when the director was found to be stealing all the money. Classic NOLA. So the alternative we have to traditional day care is private school. Private school is most times not year round, costs more than daycare would, and can require things like uniforms… for toddlers. Not only do you then have to pay for private school, (which has things like holiday break and summers off) you then have to figure out what to do when there is no school. It’s pretty much the worst.

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This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to schools though. Instead of pretending to know it all, I’ll just leave it to you to Google something like: schools post katrina new orleans. Also, you can hear me talk more about my school grievances here. I am still annoyed with this author who makes me sound like a rich white lady trying to game the system. (Although I do want to grow up to be Lucille Bluth so maybe she knows something I don’t.)

Pot Holes/Endless Street Construction

Do you just love driving through potholes and damaging your car? Do you love the thought of random street closures due to an endless maze of construction? Then NOLA is the place for you! Just take a look at this awesome site! It’s dedicated to the potholes of New Orleans! Since I travel the same streets daily, I know where to swerve but I’ve hit a car killer more than once and drove away hoping my car was ok.
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Regarding the construction, the same dang road has been torn up or under some form of construction since 2013!! And they don’t expect to complete it until maybe summer of 2018. How is that ok? The road is a main traffic road and not a side street. It’s not like 20 miles long. Yet it’s take upwards of 5 years to complete the construction. And this is only one small part of the construction issue. More info about all of that here.

This piece is already 400 words longer than I expected so I’m going to end with this gif about why I love this city.
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**I haven’t even started on the pumps/flooding. Fortunately, we weren’t affected but I know plenty who were.

***Also on my complaint list- crazy ass meter maids and parking enforcement in general. Oh and that time my car was stolen and it took the police 8 hours to respond and included a call back to us asking if the car was still stolen. Oh and slumlords in the University district. I’m looking at you, Craig Tolbert.

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